Playing a cello

I have a request for you: Before you continue reading, play THIS in the background. 

Sir recently added this to our play-playlist and it was playing on that evening...

*  *  *

We have this mobile massage seat, which on this particular night was settled on the big and comfy armchair in the living room.

Sir have been having some problem with his back, so he was sitting in the armchair with the massage seat on.

Do you know what will make this even better?
He asked me the low bass voice of his...the voice that i fell in love with the first time we ever spoke on the phone. (To this day, just thinking of his voice makes me wet)

What?...
He wasn't feeling well, there for the thought of anything of a asexual nature happening that evening didn't cross my mind.   

...If you'll bring a pillow to kneel in front of me. That way, I could enjoy the massage as you suck my cock.

He was speaking with a wicked smile...which of course made me all excited and i almost sprinted from the sofa.
As I was about to I leave the living room area, I heard:

Oh! And bring the crop with you.

I presented him with the crop and knelled ( wearing a low cut, black dress )

He ordered me to remove my bra without removing the dress... (you all know the trick ladies)

Then, He lowered my cleavage even more than it already was and placed the cloth under my breasts, totally exposing them.

He started by pinching, pulling and squeezing my nipples...all the long having a grin on his face...
or should I say a satisfied smug, watching me moan and squirm and dig my fingernails in to the arm rests of the chair...

Then came a swat...

It fucking it stung SO good!

I was already soaked...

I wanted IT
I needed IT
I NEEDED to feel the pain

Another on the right nipple... He goes again... and again... and again...

Now, he switched to the left one. He repeats this nipple swatting rhythm again and again,

He pulled me snug against him. Pulled up my dress and lowered the tights and panties.

I was still kneeling as He pushed my torso over his right knee. Almost like a cello placed between his legs and the crop as his bow. 

This way he could have a better access to my bare ass and beat  play me with a greater precision...

He went for the same spot over and over again...

As I was screaming, moaning, panting...trying to squirm away from his vicious attack but yet afraid he is going to stop...

He pulled me up...Now i was back kneeling before him. Face to face.

Now you can suck my cock!

I was already so hungry for HIM.

I pushed Him as far as i could down my throat... the taste, the smell...

My head was spinning...

I sucked the best i know how...

He was siting comfortably in the chair...with one hand he was swatting my ass with the bow crop, with the other he was softly petting my hair as my had went up and down his shaft...

I was lost in this pain-pleasure feeling...flying,,,, pushing His hard big cock down my throat...gagging each time as i pushed further and further... (he enjoys watching me gag.. )

My pussy was wet and needy...

Out of nowhere ... 
Stop. 

I reluctantly did ( was i pouting ? maybe... ).

He pushed me back. 

Open your mouth.

Now, hold this.

He has placed the crops between my teeth, stood up and disappeared for a few moments.

When he reappeared in front of me he said: 

Now you can take off my shoes. 

With the crop still firmly settled between my teeth, My breathing rapid from the excitement and need, I removed his shoes.

He took the crop back in his hand.

Go fetch your wand!

Back in kneeling position. With the wand pressed against my oh so wet pussy...i turned in on....

And oh my....................

I dove back between his legs...sucking his delicious cock...the vibe was buzzing burred between my thighs...

I could feel the waves getting closer...

I am trained to ask for permission (when i can...sometimes its just happens...and sometimes i get punished because it "just happened"  )

May i cum Sir?

(You can just go and imagine how it sounded like with a mouth full of cock)

Yes, you may!

And I came so hard....gagging...but i didn't  care anymore...i couldn't remove his cock from my throat...i NEEDED it to be even deeper...i got even more greedy...

And then a second wave hits...
i produced a muffled scream...moaning...dancing with the vibe torture...

I'm cumming....  

I was so ready to drink Him.

He poured himself into my mouth and I drank, and swallowed, and milked him for more until there was no more and He told me to stop.

A Grey Cloud

My mind is scattered lately... like i lost the ability to think sharply...
Having difficulties finding the right words...
Lonely. Yet i am not alone.
He is here.
Melancholy, yes?

Find myself searching online images that remind me of D/s
They don't even have to be explicit...they don't always have sexual innuendos...
It can be just a lace or tall trees, leather, furniture with a damask pattern...
Other times it's kneeling, worshiping...yet being cherished and protected...
  
Black and white images are particularly calming.
They, or its more the emotions they inflict make me feel
Safe...like a protective grey cloud.

But i must confess...
There is something about a state of melancholy that i like...
Its surprisingly - familiar.

Can't really explain it, but this is when the submissive in me becomes
Even more alive...Needing of pain, being used, claimed and protected...

  
 
 

Ice

I don't know where to start...
So I'll just start whining now...

Vanilla is holding us hostage: No sex, verrrry little kink and definitely no D/s

He has been sick for almost two weeks now. I'm talking about sleepless nights and
a horse amount of all kind of medications.
He is doing better but still is physically weak.
Meanwhile i became the domme...it just happened.......

Now, before that was the period, and we all know what that means: two weeks of bitch fast.
During all that : EXAMS.
So that took some life force from both of us.

Today we had a fight after a "fail" play. Of Course he wasn't on his best game - he IS still recovering, but nooooooo, he thought it would be a good idea to play the role of a dominant. And you know what? This is exactly how it felt - him PLAYING a role and being truly dominant.

It was a totally stupid fight , that started by him asking me "whats wrong? "
Why does he do that?! and how the fuck he always knows?!

Things were said.....

A few hours later he spanked me until....
After about 15 minutes (i don't know actually how much time, but it felt about 15 min)
he went away for a few moments a brought some ice and rubbed it on my ass...
for a moment i thought he was doing it to soothe the pain, but then he cropped me!

It burned like hell!

Suddenly i felt the cane part of the crop (you can see it in my post first time for everything )
I shuddered and tried to wiggle myself away...he just moved it across the tortured skin. it felt very raw.
I heard him chuckle at my attempt to protest.....

Did you enjoy the ice?
Yes...But i thought you brought it to soothe my skin....

No. I knew it will hurt more when I'll use the crop.
------

The thing is,  I am feeling totally UNsubmissive.
Have absolutely no idea where to start to try and patch things up... and go back
to that happy place...the D/s place...where D = Him and s = me

.....

A new rule

Before we got in to the D/s dynamic I didn't used to care
about whatever I was wearing around the house.
As long as it was clean and cute.

Now, I wear empire waisted dresses at knee high or short tunics.

So last week, due to some circumstances
I went commando for a few days.

This inspired a new rule:
Panties off when at home and if outside together.
When He comes home I am to provide proof
of obedience.

  

Learning Patience part II

You can read about part I here : Learning Patience

It has been a month since things fell apart.
You see, what happened was brought by a big deal of miscommunication. And we are both at fault.

He is not a man who is big on sharing whatever goes inside his mind.
I'm on the other hand, have no fucking problem expressing ( see also: shouting, screaming, yelling) whatever bothers me. And i dont release control that easily. Although i thought i did.

What happened was kinda a blessing in disguise:
The cards fell open on the table.
We learned where each of us stood.
What were the expectations for the futer.

Now, He feels more comfortable with dominating me ( even gets creative, which melts me away)
I feel more submisive which i think is directly linked to him opening up. There for i can trust him more...you know what i mean ?

I don't have the earge to demand dominance...because now i know that he does and he will.

I just need to learn to be even more patient and less demanding.
To learn to release.

When HE DECIDES that i deserve of his dominance it feels so climatic, exiting, magical, erotic, demanding, powerful, overpowering...........(Just got horny writing this)

He said: I never stopped and never will stop bein your Dominant!

Learning patience

After what happened last week I feel....
More submisive then ever. But it feels deferent.

We had many heart to heart talks. Many things
Were said. Things that probably (sadly) would not be shared
Under regular circumstances. Especially from him.

I am hopeful that it will make us stronger; as a couple, as husband and wife, as friends and as a couple in a D/s dynamic.

I can see now, that I wasn't nearly the submisive i thought i was
And did not get what submission truly is.
Just starting to understand that SUBMISSION IS PATIENCE....
I'm not good at being patient.

"When you want something, there is no stopping you" He says.

I need to learn to wait. To wait for Him. To follow Him
And the moment he'll decide to give of his attention to me....
his dominance...
That moment will be overpowering.

For now I'm working to deserve the "kitty" status again...
For now he lovingly calls me "My chaotic creature" ...
(I kinda starting to like it :-) )

Here goes nothing...

Never in a million years I would have thought to start a blog. let alone one about my personal life. Although I'm an outgoing person, I would never share my personal life with others. Not even a best friend. That was before D/s. 
Now how can I tell someone that I LOVE being submitted to my Husband?
LOVE to be sexually objectified by Him? LOVE being spanked to a point of total bliss?
HOW?! :) 
Okay, I CAN tell....but.... How objective will their reaction be? Or what happens if I'll need an advice or a second opinion or support ?

Now, as we are discovering the magic that is D/s and BDSM, I find myself in need to share converce and maybe even to have an open discussion about TTWD. 


What finally tipped the scale and catalyzed the decision of starting my own blog, happened a few days ago when i posted a comment on a new post by Fiona on her own blog.I didn't realize when i started typing, but before i was done, tears were streaming down my face. It was cathartic.  

So many amazing bloggers, such as Fiona, Sir J (that sadly closed his profile :(  )
and Pearl Necklace (that I've discovered only recently) and many more, that contributes to Sir's and my life by sharing their life.
We are both thankful to all of you!

Please feel Free to comment anywhere, everywhere and anytime on my blog. 
I would really appreciate it. 

So... WELCUOME!   ;)