A Grey Cloud

My mind is scattered lately... like i lost the ability to think sharply...
Having difficulties finding the right words...
Lonely. Yet i am not alone.
He is here.
Melancholy, yes?

Find myself searching online images that remind me of D/s
They don't even have to be explicit...they don't always have sexual innuendos...
It can be just a lace or tall trees, leather, furniture with a damask pattern...
Other times it's kneeling, worshiping...yet being cherished and protected...
  
Black and white images are particularly calming.
They, or its more the emotions they inflict make me feel
Safe...like a protective grey cloud.

But i must confess...
There is something about a state of melancholy that i like...
Its surprisingly - familiar.

Can't really explain it, but this is when the submissive in me becomes
Even more alive...Needing of pain, being used, claimed and protected...